Wednesday, 17 June 2015
This story is 100% true. My family has a warped sense of humor and these events really happened. Two of my uncles, lets call them John and Joe, were electricians building a three flat in the city some years ago. At the time, poop humor was a normal part of their entertainment. Joe would plant dookies in strange places around the building where he knew John would find them, and vice versa. It was good wholesome fun and didn’t require much planning. After all, everybody poops. Between the first floor and basement of the building there was a large hole that had to be repaired, but the construction workers used the hole to pass tools and material from one floor to the next. One day, John yelled down to joe through the hole, “Joe, catch this box of wire nuts!” So Joe waited patiently beneath the hole to catch it. But the wire nuts never came. What did fall through the hole was a fresh and steamy turd straight from John’s ass. It narrowly missed Joe’s head and landed on the floor with a splat. He was not amused. The only thing better then poop humor, is poop revenge. Later on that day, Joe went outside, sat bare assed on top of John’s new car and laid a fresh one on the windshield. When John got wind of this he ran outside, jumped into the vehicle and frantically turned on the wipers. As you might imagine, this wasn’t his best idea. Human feces are pasty in texture. Instead of cleaning the mess, the windshield wipers only spread the crap around like a rolling pin. Lesson learned